Thursday, July 1, 2010

the bitter sweet of international adoption

I have been emailing New Day about our upcoming visit with our son ZG’s foster family and although this part fill's me with happy tears, to be able to thank the people that taught our son to love and give them the gift of being able to spend time together again. This trip will also mark the last days that our soon to be son ZT, will be with the parents that he loves and the home that he has know for 4 years. I will be shedding many tears, for the fact that we will be taking apart this family. I understand that it has to be this way, ZT could be taken from them at anytime and returned to the orphanage and his parents are too old to adopt him (I asked), so for him to have a forever family this adoption has to happen but today it is tearing my heart apart.


VivaJeste said...

Just give him and yourselves all the love you can.

With much love,

VivaJeste said...

Just allow him and yourselves to have every feeling that each of you have, especially the ones that are most difficult. They are all coming from someplace really real and all need a place to be okay to have. This way there's no need to hide a part of ourselves. And that really allows all of you to become a family together with nothing hiding in the background creating problems unbeknownst to all of you.

I'm sure you already know. It may take a while. And he may act out. This is just an expression of his starting to feel stable and all very normal, as you may know, in a new place and with new people and a new wonderful but still different family and traditions and routines. And, I'm sure you know, it will lessen as he feels more like he can be who he is by allowing him to have his feelings with loving acceptance.

Give patience to him, your family, and most especially to yourselves. Take the break that you need, the cup of coffee, the quiet moment in your room (or in the closet by yourself!) Do the thing that might be the most frivolous thing in your mind. It's totally those things that really can give us an amazing amount of power & energy inside to give another day.

With much, much love,